Man Up Ladies, This Life is What You Make it.

Why do military wives identify themselves by their husband's career. So many women take on the lifestyle and end up losing their self in the process. Your husband has a difficult job and being married to him isn't easy but you can't say you didn't know what you were getting yourself into. You can't let your husbands career define you. You see it all the time. Women who wear their husband's rank and refer to things in terms of "we" and "our"; "We get paid next week" and "our third deployment is coming up." I don't say any of this to belittle anyone it just seems odd to me. You don't generally see this as much with non military couples. Here is my theory and tell me if I am wrong but I think so many of these wives have given up their life for the husband's career and in turn it's all they have left so they cling to it. Hear me out. Most wives are stay at home moms. Some are there by choice, others like me are having trouble finding work, and some have had trouble keeping their own career because of the constant PCSing. Men and women alike define themselves by what they do these days and if you aren't doing anything it's easy to start getting overly involved in your SO's life. I think this also contributes to the gossiping and nosiness in the military communities. What's that saying about idle hands? You have to find your own thing, whether it be a hobby or work, something that is uniquely your own. Having your own friends and things to do will help keep separate your life from his. Now I am sure some of you are thinking, "We are married everything is we and everything should be done together." I disagree. Doing things together is good and healthy for your relationship but everything? I can't speak for my husband but I know if he was up my ass all the time I would be dying for any excuse to stay away from home for a few minutes of peace. I think having your own time apart is equally as necessary as spending time together. And while we're at it, it's high time we stopped playing the damsel in distress. "Woah is me, my husband is saving the world and I am protecting the homefront!" Nothing could ever have prepared you for every bump this life would lead you to, but hopefully you knew that it wouldn't be easy. You knew you would move around and follow him wherever they tell him to go and you knew you'd have to stay back while he went to fight a war and you'd gladly do it every time because he means more to you than the world. Stop acting like a victim. Take pride in your family and your strength to make it through these tough times. There is no question that military families make sacrifices and that demands some respect. It does not however demand sympathy. I'm just sayin....